Dumpster Dive #5: Yikes

Can you smell the sweet scent of bin juice? You’ve stumbled upon Dumpster Dive, where we scrape the bottom of the barrel for decks to take to your next Commoner gig! Join us as we sift through the dregs for decklists that are kick-ass, giga-brain, or sometimes just downright deranged. Despite the limited card pool, we’ve only scratched the surface of what the world of budget beatdowns has to offer… If you’re willing to get your hands dirty!

What better way to sign off the month of August? Flesh and Blood is approaching its 5th Birthday, and Dumpster Dive has (SOMEHOW) reached 5 episodes! What a rollercoaster month it's been; ups, downs, middles, in-betweens, and yet one thing is certain. In the world of Dumpster Dive, each month we stray further from the light of Sol. I don't know how I still have the strength to peek in the submission form each month, but I do it because the people need their jank. Name a rubbish bin in the park after me or something.

We've got some fun ones for you today, courtesy of the extra bin juice Rosetta has injected into the Commoner sphere. Earth, Lightning, Wizard, and Runeblade card pools have all been sauced up, and some fan favourites have even been reprinted at common rarity! There's never been a better time to start cooking, unless you happen to have a gas leak. If that's you, maybe order pizza. And maybe get that looked at.

Righto, let’s get scrounging for our next Landfill Legend…

ZAP

Yeah... uh... it's just 40 Zaps. No notes.

This idea is brought to you by Battle Hardened Champion Thomas Bailey Galbraith. When he's not travelling the world winning Gold Foils and teaching the next generation a lesson or two, Thomas likes to chill out at home with a stress-free Zen mirror. This particular concept was only made possible with a generous supply of 0-cost burn spells courtesy of Rosetta. Why are we running Oscilio instead of Kano? Because Elemental Wizards have an extra Zap.

So I heard you like Zaps? What if I told you Mage Master Boots lets you play TWO Zaps! Oh what's that, you don't like your Zaps? That's okay, just activate Hope Merchant's Hood and put all those Zaps back into your deck, then draw a whole hand of NEW Zaps! You've even got Crucible of Aetherweave and Hold Focus to activate the surge abilities of all your Zaps, because who in their right mind would bother using Nullrune against Zaps? If there's one piece of constructive criticism I have for this deck, it's that it could use a few more Zaps.

Low Tide

You ever come across someone who is just too deeply invested in a hero? Someone who has put a disturbing amount of thought into it? Someone willing to do an entire tactical writeup on why Razor Reflex works in Riptide? Unfortunately, my personal answer to that question is yes. Matthew Boudreaux, you scare me. But what annoys me most of all is not the fact that you put Razor Reflex in a Riptide deck. What annoys me most of all is that it somehow works.

If you haven't worked it out already, the plan is to load an arrow with Barbed Castaway, give it go again with Razor Reflex, then trigger Riptide's ability to load a second arrow. It also runs a bunch of generic pumps like Nimblism and Scout the Periphery which not only work on arrows, but also enable cheeky little surprises like Virulent Touch. Oh and in case you forgot, there are traps at common rarity too. Overall I give this deck a rating of 6 fish heads out of 9 rusty hooks.

Cut My Life Into Pieces

This deranged mess comes from an old friend of mine - Adam Little. I expected nothing less than an absolute disaster of a deck, and while he might always be late to Armory, he was right on time with this pile of garbage. We all know Vynnset likes a little bit of pain, sacrificing her own life as a resource in order to gain forbidden arcane power. Instead of playing Rune Gate cards to benefit from the life loss (like a NORMAL person), Adam is running every card that benefits from having less life than your opponent, including the latest addition to the Commoner card pool - Fyendal's Fighting Spirit.

If you thought Wounded Bull was cracked in Iyslander, wait until you have to banish a card from your hand before playing it! Aside from Oath of the Arknight being another tasty reprint at common rarity, the rest of this deck is an absolute travesty. But that's exactly what we're looking for in Dumpster Dive, and I couldn't be more proud. If you think you can do worse, the submission form is always open and I reckon we've still got a few years left before we succumb to the eventual heat death of the universe.

And now… The moment you’ve all been waiting for…

Our fourth Landfill Legend…

For his disastrous Cut My Life Into Pieces Deck...

ADAM LITTLE!

Congratulations, Adam. You don’t win anything, but if you play the ambient sound of a crowd cheering in the background it will feel like you’ve won a prize. You’ve done an honourable service for all the Commoner Vynnset fans out there, now go sit in the corner and think about what you've done.

To the rest of you, have you got what it takes to make Cadaverous Contraband Uzuri a threat worth getting a restraining order against? Have you been taking home the bacon with Decimator Great Axe Dorinthea? Does your Brandish Arakni deck go harder than eating shredded cheese straight out of the bag at 3AM? Submit your deck to the form below and you could become the next Landfill Legend!

I’m going to go wash my hands now… catch you in next month’s Dumpster Dive!