Dumpster Dive #10: The Wrong Way to Start 2025

Can you smell the sweet scent of bin juice? You’ve stumbled upon Dumpster Dive, where we scrape the bottom of the barrel for decks to take to your next Commoner gig! Join us as we sift through the dregs for decklists that are kick-ass, giga-brain, or sometimes just downright deranged. Despite the limited card pool, we’ve only scratched the surface of what the world of budget beatdowns has to offer… If you’re willing to get your hands dirty!

Welcome to what is going to be a kickass year in the Flesh and Blood. Hopefully you've eaten well, rested up, and touched grass. Let's kick off 2025 in the worst way possible - with a good ol' Dumpster Dive!

10 instalments of Dumpster Dive, can you believe it? Legend Story Studios continues to pay me to roast your terrible Commoner decks, and while I love every minute of it, looking at the submission form made it clear some of you should have been cooking Christmas dinner instead of these absolutely cheeks decks.

Righto, let's get scrounging for our next Landfill Legend...

One Trillion Lions vs The Sun

The age old question. Who would win in a fight - 1,000,000,000,000 lions or the sun? History's greatest philosophers have argued over this conflict for a millennia, pondering whether the sheer heat from the sun would reduce the lions to ash, or if the lions would have the upper hand so long as they attacked at night. But it turns out we've been asking the wrong question this whole time. Nova Huijs's deck seeks to answer a different question - who would win between SEVEN suns and a single tiger? Her deck aims to stack 6 copies of Sun Kiss on the bottom of the deck, then use Pouncing Paws to send out a single Crouching Tiger, which we ensure attacks at night by changing its name to Moon Wish with Mask of Many Faces.

"Hol up," I hear you say. Weren't we promised seven suns? By playing Lead the Charge into Cadaverous Contraband mid-Sun Kissing, you can put one back on top of your deck, ready to be drawn. That's 15 life gained in a single turn, assuming you even live through the 20 turns it takes to set it up. Of course, the deck contains several filtering effects to help assist the pitch stacking, from staples like Sink Below and Fate Foreseen to... *checks notes* Scour the Battlescape and Ornate Tessen. This is deranged, Nova. 10/10.

Count Your Blessings at Home

This next one comes from Kelsie Tandubuana, who says "conceptually, I built this deck out of spite of CYB." Yes, it is another deck that features Sun Kiss. Yes, it is absolute dogwater. Yes, I will be playing this next time I feel the need to cause enough mental anguish to remind myself of the entropic nature of the human mind. It's just 6 of every life gain card, folks, what more do you want me to say?

I like how there's a half-baked attempt to pack in a decompose package with Fertile Ground as the bootleg Count Your Blessings payoff, but the whole point of a Count Your Blessings fatigue deck is that you have a method of winning the game after neutralising your opponent's threats. And I'm sorry but, Aether Conduit isn't gonna cut it, unless they didn't bring Nullrune equipment, which they will, because Iyslander is really good in Commoner right now. WHY WOULD YOU MAKE ME LOOK AT THIS, KELSIE?! WHO LET YOU COOK???

Dawnblade-LITE

Some people would say Dawnblade is a weapon designed only for Dorinthea and doesn't have a place in a Boltyn deck. Those people would be completely correct, but when has that ever stopped you lot? Ramses Salen's deck revolves around pumping Dawnblade to force blocks, then using Boltyn's soul to give go again and follow up with a punishing attack like Illuminate.

Ramses has tried to justify this steaming pile of garbage with the fact that once you have cards in soul, you can perform several different "3-card-10's", such as Engaged Swiftblade into Dawnblade into Rising Solartide, or Express Lightning pumped by Razor Reflex into Dawnblade, or Nature's Path Pilgrimage into Dawnblade, hopefully hitting a 0-cost 4-power attack action off the top of your deck. Mate, if 3-card-10's were all you needed to win a game of Flesh and Blood, Guardian wouldn't be on vacation right now!

And now… The moment you’ve all been waiting for…

Our ninth Landfill Legend…

For her brilliant solar-feline science experiment...

NOVA HUIJS!

Congratulations, Nova. You don’t win anything, but if you play the ambient sound of a crowd cheering in the background it will feel like you’ve won a prize. You’ve done an honourable service for all the sun worshippers out there, and solved an age-old problem that has plagued humanity for eons.

To the rest of you, have you got what it takes to make Cadaverous Contraband Uzuri a threat worth getting a restraining order against? Have you been taking home the bacon with Moon Wish Sun Kiss Verdance? Does your reds-only Iyslander deck go harder than eating shredded cheese straight out of the bag at 3AM? Submit your deck to the form below and you could become the next Landfill Legend!

I’m going to go wash my hands now… catch you in next month's Dumpster Dive!