Dumpster Dive #7: A New Cope

Can you smell the sweet scent of bin juice? You’ve stumbled upon Dumpster Dive, where we scrape the bottom of the barrel for decks to take to your next Commoner gig! Join us as we sift through the dregs for decklists that are kick-ass, giga-brain, or sometimes just downright deranged. Despite the limited card pool, we’ve only scratched the surface of what the world of budget beatdowns has to offer… If you’re willing to get your hands dirty!

Well, here we are again, folks. I trust you all enjoyed LOOKING at the special Dumpster Dive Landfill Legend Showdown on the 5th Anniversary Live Stream earlier this week. I'm over the Moon Wish to have claimed Arakni's first (and hopefully not only) official win on stream, and I am looking forward to the visible future of our watchful Assassin. Surely the optics are good enough that James and Bryan have to cook up some broken Arakni support now, right? Right??

I've got some utter nonsense from the bin to share with you today, but I feel it is necessary to remind players that these are not competitive decklists. To avoid any confusion, I must reiterate that the decklists we feature on Dumpster Dive are only here for creativity and style points. They're perfect for knocking Mr Classic down a peg or two, but you probably shouldn't run them into a Commoner Gold Foil event (unless you're just built different).

Righto, let’s get scrounging for our next Landfill Legend…

Breaking Balls

This silly little number has one goal and one goal only - to swing the BIGGEST Ball Breaker the Deathmatch Arena has ever seen! Tessa Miller has built her entire deck around this one euphemism, with the full set of Mighty Windups to generate multiple Might tokens and trigger Ball Breaker's ability. It doesn't matter how highly decorated a gladiator you are, no balls are safe from this masterpiece. But Windups aren't the only thing this Brute is packing...

To ensure the Ball Breaker reaches maximum ball breaking power, we're running the full set of Bonebreaker Bellow, as well as an all expenses paid trip to Pound Town. But the real kick in the nuts is Rumble Grunting, a completely forgotten common from Dynasty that offers a whopping +4 power for 0 cost! This is what Dumpster Dive is all about, scouring the card pool for forsaken chaff to complete a deck that should never see the light of day.

Coldplay Concert

Next up we have the purple-iest hero in all of Flesh and Blood, but you'll find this disaster of a build is on the opposite end of the colour spectrum - it's all yellow! For the sake of our readers I've elected not to publish the original submitted name of this deck, but you can probably work it out if you think about it hard enough (hint: what rhymes with VIS-erai?).

Stephen Murphy provided a substantial amount of notes in his submission about the tactical advantage of mono-yellow Runeblade, throwing out big scary terms like "maximized consistency" and "pitch curve" and "above rate". This is of course, an absolute lie, we all know the only purpose of this deck was to try and push some potty humour over the line. Let's just say, urine big trouble for this one, Steven.

Never Miss

Azalea mains will tell you - one of their biggest pet peeves is going in with Azalea's ability blind, missing an arrow off the top of the deck, and having to sadly pass turn. Talon Stradley has fixed this age old problem with an innovative solution - simply just play ALL arrows. Use Azalea for free dominate every turn and I guarantee the only thing you'll miss is the time before you picked up this deck.

I don't really know what else you expect me to write about this, it's literally just 45 arrows. I guess 5 of those arrows are technically an inventory, Talon's really putting in the work to think ahead about the Commoner metagame. Just pray you don't get paired into Oldhim... or Enigma... or Iyslander... or Ira... or any deck with defense reactions... or any deck at all, really.

And now… The moment you’ve all been waiting for…

Our sixth Landfill Legend…

For his dastardly Coldplay Concert deck...

STEPHEN MURPHY!

Congratulations, Stephen. You don’t win anything, but if you play the ambient sound of a crowd cheering in the background it will feel like you’ve won a prize. You’ve done an honourable service for all the Commoner Viserai fans out there. Look at the stars, look how they shine for you.

To the rest of you, have you got what it takes to make Cadaverous Contraband Uzuri a threat worth getting a restraining order against? Have you been taking home the bacon with Moon Wish Sun Kiss Verdance? Does your Dragonless Dromai deck go harder than eating shredded cheese straight out of the bag at 3AM? Submit your deck to the form below and you could become the next Landfill Legend!

I’m going to go wash my hands now… catch you in next month’s Dumpster Dive!