Dumpster Dive #11: Beyond Redemption

Can you smell the sweet scent of bin juice? You’ve stumbled upon Dumpster Dive, where we scrape the bottom of the barrel for decks to take to your next Commoner gig! Join us as we sift through the dregs for decklists that are kick-ass, giga-brain, or sometimes just downright deranged. Despite the limited card pool, we’ve only scratched the surface of what the world of budget beatdowns has to offer… If you’re willing to get your hands dirty!

It's not very often that I lose a game in Commoner, but it's very often that I look at the Dumpster Dive submission form and lose the will to live. Some of you like to submit actual atrocities, but to be fair, I enabled this behaviour so I guess I have nobody to blame except myself.

The Hunted has dropped lots of new commons to cook with. Dagger flicking and retrieval, more stealth options, Blade Beckoner equipment to replace Ironrot, generic blue utility cards, and of course, three new heroes. And in true Dumpster Dive fashion, many of you have ignored all that in favour of... yet again... Moon Wish and Sun Kiss. Why change?

Let's scrounge for our next Landfill Legend...

Guardian't

Who doesn't love Guardian? Tuan Nguyen Dinh, that's who. This Bravo deck is the equivalent of making soup, realising you forgot to buy any ingredients for it, and throwing in whatever unlabeled jars you find in the pantry. NO Guardian cards in the main deck, just generic heavy hitters. Although to be fair, this deck actually probably still functions almost as well as a regular Bravo deck.

It might be the most vanilla millquetoast era of Bravo's acting career, when he was so desperate for a role that he acted as a run of the mill "everyman" who could slot into any script, but there are humble beginnings of a great showman hidden beneath the surface. It's simple, but the synergy with dominate is reliable, whether through Bravo's ability, Pound for a Pound, or classics like Regurgitating Slog and Demolition Crew. Wait, why am I even analysing this? What are we doing here, people?

Oh Hi Mark

Those of you who haven't seen the universally panned megaflop The Room are going to have absolutely no clue what is going on with this one. You may recall the iconic scene where Tommy Wiseau aggressively hurls a water bottle into the aether while maniacally rambling to himself, only to suddenly stop short and pleasantly greet his best friend Mark, all rage and frustration evaporated in a single, wildly confusing second. With Matt Wydick's deck, now you can recreate this iconic scene at your local game store!

The aim of this deck is to turbo towards marking your opponent just so you can relay that notorious line of dialogue, with absolutely no payoffs in the main deck for actually marking them. I have no critiques to add, the whole deck is just a clean playset of everything that "marks your best friend". If they block your attack you can even squeeze in the gold one-liner "I did not hit her! I did NAAAHT!" before you get banned from the local game store.

Boom Wish Sun Dash

I know I dogged on y'all for treating Moon Wish Sun Kiss like it's the second coming of Prism, but this deck actually cooks. So what's the gimmick this time? Well, Moon Wish lets you put an item with crank from your hand on the top of your deck, then regain your action point by playing it with Dash's hero ability, followed by all the benefits of a free Sun Kiss.

The items in Isaac Brook's masterpiece are all 0-cost, so that after using Moon Wish's alternative cost, you can pitch a blue to pay for Dash's hero ability and use the remaining two resources to play good ol' reliable Pummel - nothing beats that! There's a nice number of 2-cost attack actions in here for Pummel to target like Payload and Throttle, which when combined with Boom Grenade makes you wonder if technology has gone too far.

And now… The moment you’ve all been waiting for…

Our tenth Landfill Legend…

For his excessive use of establishing shots of San Francisco...

MATT WYDICK!

Congratulations, Matt. You don’t win anything, but if you play the ambient sound of a crowd cheering in the background it will feel like you’ve won a prize. You’ve done an honourable service for all the football-in-suits-in-an-alleyway fans out there, who can safely say your deck is TEARING THEM APART!

To the rest of you, have you got what it takes to make Cadaverous Contraband Uzuri a threat worth getting a restraining order against? Have you been taking home the bacon with Moon Wish Sun Kiss Verdance? Does your reds-only Iyslander deck go harder than eating shredded cheese straight out of the bag at 3AM? Submit your deck to the form below and you could become the next Landfill Legend!

I’m going to go wash my hands now… catch you in the next Dumpster Dive!